Woman goes to the doctors with a massive hole where her vagina should be.
“Whoooa, what happened here” asked the doc,
“I had sex with an elephant” she replies.
“I know elephants have big penises but not like that” he says,
“Ah but he fingered me first”
That’s not old, that’s gold.
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
32I went to the doctors with a mole on my old boy yesterday
He said he would remove it this time but next time hes getting the RSPCA involved
He said he would remove it this time but next time hes getting the RSPCA involved
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
33Owen Money's classic:
Man goes into a Doctor's surgery and says,"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pig". Doctor asked him, "how long have you thought you're a pig?"......"oink, oink, about a weeeeek!"
Man goes into a Doctor's surgery and says,"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pig". Doctor asked him, "how long have you thought you're a pig?"......"oink, oink, about a weeeeek!"
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
36“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
37Not a joke. Anyone know any good darts jokes? Got to do a trophy presentation speech tomorrow night and a good darts joke would be great.
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
38I was sat at the computer the other night when my wife asked me what I was doing?pembsexile wrote:Not a joke. Anyone know any good darts jokes? Got to do a trophy presentation speech tomorrow night and a good darts joke would be great.
"I'm looking for cheap flights", I said.
"I love you" she said. She then got all excited, giving me a big kiss!
The strange thing is she had never shown any interest in darts before!
or
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first'. He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo.'
He said, 'You're closest.'
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
39How many darters does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Onnnnnnnnne hunnnnnnnnndred and eiiiiiiiiiiightyyyyyyy
Onnnnnnnnne hunnnnnnnnndred and eiiiiiiiiiiightyyyyyyy
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
40I used to play darts with my best mate Pete until his head went blunt !
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
42Whats the difference between Mansfield Town FC and my willy? My willy can make it past a semi.
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
432 Mexicans are stuck in the desert starving.
In the distance they see a tree.
As they get nearer, they see it is draped with rashers of juicy bacon.
"Hey look, Pedro", says Juan, "Ees a bacon tree! We're saved".
Juan runs to the tree but before he gets there he is suddenly gunned down in a hail of bullets.
With his dying breath he shouts back: "Run Pedro! Ees no a bacon tree! Ees a ham bush".
In the distance they see a tree.
As they get nearer, they see it is draped with rashers of juicy bacon.
"Hey look, Pedro", says Juan, "Ees a bacon tree! We're saved".
Juan runs to the tree but before he gets there he is suddenly gunned down in a hail of bullets.
With his dying breath he shouts back: "Run Pedro! Ees no a bacon tree! Ees a ham bush".
Re: Can we have a jokes thread?
44Was watching TV at home tonight, heard some noises outside and looked out the window to see some Spurs supporters playing football with a hedgehog.
Was gonna call the RSPCA but then the hedgehog went 1-0 up.
Was gonna call the RSPCA but then the hedgehog went 1-0 up.
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